Author: lisatorcassodowning

Whack-a-Doodle Timelines, the Death of a Prophet, and a Massacre or Two

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Abuse, Inclusion, Outreach, Politics, RaceLeave a comment

DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL STUCK on a timeline that is too confounding for words? Everything around me feels shoved into reverse as it stutters forward. Can a crab walk in two directions at the same time? Because it seems like anything can happen, especially if it makes no sense. And what does it signify when the people you’ve always known best are people you feel you don’t know at all? Is it only me? I doubt it. And that feels like the point. I need to slow down, start somewhere, so, because I’m the center of my own universe, let me start with Sunday morning, Sept. 28, 2025. I know what happened then. Not really. Oh, and it might be important to know (if you didn’t already) that I’m a Latter-day Saint. A Mormon. (Can I say that again?) Or it might not matter at all.

So here it is. On Sunday morning, a 40 year old man – a veteran who decorates his pick up truck with US flags and his home with a Trump sign – plowed into a Stake Center of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and then rained terror in the form of gunfire and improvised explosive devises on a congregation that included scores of children. He killed four people and wounded eight. To his mind, each victim, whether killed, wounded or traumatized, is or was, an “antiChrist” (his word), a Mormon, someone like me. The word he used – “antiChrist” – is decidedly Christian, but the actions he committed are not. 

Continue reading “Whack-a-Doodle Timelines, the Death of a Prophet, and a Massacre or Two” →

Let’s Say the Other Hidden Thing Out Loud: A Reaction to Pres. Oaks’ “Heavenly Mother/s”

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Uncategorized2 Comments

IF YOU’RE A PART of the Mormon feminist community, there’s a high probability you’ve seen the recent footage of President Dallin Oaks admitting in an unscripted moment at a podium in Belgium that “[W]e know we have a heavenly mother or mothers.” (Watch it here.) His statement has piqued irritation among women who’ve long complained that the highest authorities of the church have been endorsing lesson materials that March young LDS women toward temple marriage without disclosing that, according to D&C 132, the temple’s “new and everlasting covenant” includes a commitment to live eternal polygamy. Mormon feminists viewed this clip of Pres. Oaks and, in something akin to unison, cried out, “He said the hidden part out loud! We told you the Church still says that heaven is polygamous!” However, as validating as the mother/mothers line is, I think it’s more important for Mormon feminists to concentrate on his next [audible] sentence because it, too, is hiding a truth that should be said out loud.

Continue reading “Let’s Say the Other Hidden Thing Out Loud: A Reaction to Pres. Oaks’ “Heavenly Mother/s”” →

What I Wish Neil A. Andersen Had Said to Women about Abortion

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Mormon Feminism, revelation2 Comments

This “talk” is a fantasy. I wrote it as a response (albeit imperfect) to Elder Anderson’s “Cherishing Life,” as delivered during his April 2025 General Conference address. I publish it as a means to opening conversation and do not claim all women will see things as I do, nor that I have written all that must be written. With that said, please imagine Elder Andersen standing at the podium and saying:

TO THE SISTERS OF THE CHURCH of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the one thing that the Brethren most want you (and your husbands) to understand today is how much we value you, the daughters of God, and how much we value your life. Each of us sitting in these plush chairs is thinking of you, whether you be in this great hall or in distant places. We appreciate all you have done, are doing, and may still do to bear the children of each new generation and to raise children to love the Lord. We acknowledge that many of you have suffered because those of us who stand here, pronouncing church doctrine from this historic pulpit, have repeatedly emphasized the idea that a woman’s value and her worth comes through child bearing and child rearing. We’ve done this even though we understand that many of our faithful sisters are unable to conceive and do not have the opportunity, including through adoption, to raise children during mortality. Our hearts are with you. We never should have equated a woman’s worth with her ability to conceive, bear children, and/or raise children.

Continue reading “What I Wish Neil A. Andersen Had Said to Women about Abortion” →

Fallible Men, Empathy, and the Podcasters’ Resignation

On By lisatorcassodowningIn authority, ecclesiastical abuse, faith transition, faith crisis3 Comments

UNDER THREAT of excommunication, the high profile wife/husband team behind the Latter-day Struggles podcast, which caters to the mental health needs of LDS Church members, is resigning their membership in order to prevent their being “burned at the stake center.”  Valerie Hamaker (a licensed therapist) and her husband Nathan have received an official letter calling them to a proverbial “court of love.” We all know what that means. 

I’ve listened to the Latter-day Struggles podcast since its inception. Let’s be clear about who the Hamakers are. They are active members who are raising their children in the LDS Church and who have been wrestling with local leaders for 18 months, hoping to remain on the membership rolls. Therapist Valerie and Nathan, her sidekick, use the podcast to address “beliefs and issues within the LDS faith that are challenging to talk about but vital to discuss for those trying to navigate their relationship in or around the Church.” Unfortunately, however, the couple have lost in the game of leadership roulette. Listen to their episode 313 for the details, but the gist is that their local leaders are uninformed about spiritual development, misunderstand it, and would excommunicate the healer (and her husband) rather than learn from her, which leaves me wondering what they envision the mission of the Savior to have been.

Continue reading “Fallible Men, Empathy, and the Podcasters’ Resignation” →

On Developing a Grassroots American Resistance

On By lisatorcassodowningIn PoliticsLeave a comment

WHEN I BEGAN this blog, I felt the need to build bridges. In one of my earliest posts, I spoke as a conservative about the need to rethink the common misconception that political progressives were evil. And here we are again. But at this moment in US political history, I don’t feel that old drive to build bridges between people with contrary perspectives, and, while I’ve shied away from politics on the blog, I’m less inclined to do that right now, even though this specific post won’t delve into policy conflicts. Lately my personal FB account is a long string of public political posts that center on my objections to the Trump administration’s efforts to enact Project 2025. To be clear, I formally left the Republican Party in 2016 to become an Independent. Why? Because I’d paid attention to Trump’s behavior the previous 40ish years and because I agree with the First Presidency’s advice to elect ethical (or principled) leaders. That year, the Republican party elevated a moral reprobate. 

Continue reading “On Developing a Grassroots American Resistance” →

Polygamy is Queer Marriage (Part Three)

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Guest Post, LGBTQIA, Polygamy Culture2 Comments

Note: This is a three-part series that explores the unique ramifications polygamy culture has upon queer Latter-day Saints written exclusively by Nathan Kitchen for Life Outside the Book of Mormon Belt. To learn more about the experiences in the queer/Latter-day Saint intersection, be sure to pick up his memoir: The Boughs of Love–Navigating the Queer Latter-day Sain Experience During an Ongoing Restoration, published by BCC Press.

GUEST POST: In the clash of the queer marriages, the ghost of polygamy significantly harms LGBTQ Latter-day Saints because the Church practices both post-manifesto and pre-manifesto polygamy strategies on its LGBTQ population.

The Post-Manifesto Template

At the D. Michael Quinn Symposium at the University of Utah in 2022, Dr. Neil Young argued that the rising visibility of sexual and gender minorities in the 1950s and 60s caused religious groups, including Latter-day Saints, “to articulate and develop a theology that for most of them wasn’t there or certainly wasn’t developed.”[1] The Church’s own development leaned heavily on the prevailing prejudice and discrimination of the day—readily found in government, the medical profession, and society—to underpin its anti-queer theology. The need to consider the theology of another form of queer marriage besides polygamy wasn’t on the Church’s radar until the early 1990s when, in 1993, the Supreme Court of Hawaii cracked open the door to its possibility, ruling that denying a marriage license to same-sex couples was discrimination. Over the next decade, with the Family Proclamation in hand touting one-man/one-woman marriage, the Church chased the marriage equality fight from state to state.

Continue reading “Polygamy is Queer Marriage (Part Three)” →

Polygamy is Queer Marriage (Part Two)

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Guest Post, LGBTQIA, Polygamy Culture, Uncategorized3 Comments

Note: This is a three-part blog series that explores the unique ramifications polygamy culture has upon queer Latter-day Saints written by Nathan Kitchen exclusively for Life Outside The Book of Mormon Belt. To learn more about the experiences in the queer/Latter-day Saint intersection, be sure to pick up his memoir: The Boughs of Love—Navigating the Queer Latter-day Saint Experience During an Ongoing Restoration published by BCC Press.

GUEST POST: The 19th-century, patriarchal form of Mormon polygamy has died an Earthly death. Consequentially, its implementation in heaven was frozen in the same configuration. No one in power today seems to have the appetite to flesh out, let alone update, the theology of how polygamy is practiced in the heavens for several reasons. First, because the social and sexual ethics of 19th century polygamy are so incredibly upsetting to most 21st-century Latter-day Saint women (and men) who find its practice foreign and utterly stomach-churning.

Continue reading “Polygamy is Queer Marriage (Part Two)” →

Polygamy is Queer Marriage (Part One)

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Guest Post, LGBTQIA, Polygamy Culture2 Comments

Note: This is a three-part blog series that explores the unique ramifications polygamy culture has upon queer Latter-day Saints written exclusively by Nathan Kitchen for Life Outside The Book of Mormon Belt. To learn more about the experiences in the queer/Latter-day Saint intersection, be sure to pick up his memoir: The Boughs of Love—Navigating the Queer Latter-day Saint Experience During an Ongoing Restoration published by BCC Press.

GUEST POST: In the fall of 2022, I ran into Carol Lynn Pearson in the Salt Palace. She recognized me and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. We were both late for speaking engagements. “Walk with me so we can visit for a moment,” she invited. Carol Lynn is a fierce advocate for LGBTQ Mormons, knowing many of us by name—even those who have long passed from this life. I shared that I was intrigued by her book, The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy: Haunting the Hearts and Heaven of Mormon Women and Men. “You know, Mormon polygamy haunts LGBTQ Mormons as well,” I observed. With an inquisitive smile, she replied, “I would like to know why you would conclude such a thing!” Unfortunately, our paths diverged before I could adequately finish the elevator pitch of my thesis.

Polygamy is always uncomfortably simmering just below the surface of Latter-day Saint consciousness. Occasionally, an event happens that causes it to boil over, causing this “specter in the shadows” to become visible. Polygamy’s latest jump scare appeared in a children’s storybook produced by the Church, explaining, on an elementary level, its existence for decades, God’s approval of the practice, and the reasons why the faith continued to participate in it even though it was against the law. It is important to note that no discussion on polygamy is complete without acknowledging the intriguing premise that Mormon polygamy also haunts LGBTQ Mormons. It is time for me to finish my conversation with Carol Lynn.

Continue reading “Polygamy is Queer Marriage (Part One)” →

Cartoon “Plural Marriage” Destabilizes Family Life for Children

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Abuse, authority, Children, faith transition, faith crisis, Mormon Feminism, Polygamy, Polygamy Culture10 Comments

IF YOU NEED MORE EVIDENCE that polygamy culture is alive and well in the contemporary sphere of the LDS, look no further than your gospel library app, specifically at the new picture story published in the Doctrine and Covenants Stories for Children, titled “Plural Marriage: Faith to Obey a Law from the Lord Even When It’s Hard.” (Find it here.***) It provides a carefully curated cartoon version of early Mormon polygamy, stretching from its beginnings with Joseph Smith to its mythologized ending with Wilford Woodruff’s Manifesto, all in just eight panels. To say much is omitted is an understatement. However, its purpose isn’t to teach history but to use well-washed nuggets of fact to tightly define faith as obedience to God through obedience to priesthood authority. That may be the intent, but it seems destined to undermine the mental health (aka the emotional and spiritual well-being) of the children of devout Latter-day Saints, including those in the most secure of homes, by destabilizing their concept of marital boundaries. 

Continue reading “Cartoon “Plural Marriage” Destabilizes Family Life for Children” →

Reactionary or Revelatory? Thoughts on the New Temple Garment

On By lisatorcassodowningIn Mormon Feminism, Temple31 Comments

Last evening, Peggy Fletcher Stack of the Salt Lake Tribune gave subscribers a glimpse at a new, sleeveless garment design for women currently available “in hot climates such as Uganda, Kenya, South Africa, the Philippines and some southern U.S. locations.” Additionally, “there is a light, one-piece ‘shift’ (looks like a slip) option and skirt bottom for women who mostly wear dresses as in Africa.” This is big news for practicing LDS women, and I’m pleased by this change and hope the new styles are offered soon to everyone. I see this as evidence the voices of women who are speaking out are penetrating the Church Office Building. 

Of course, the change is bittersweet when I think of the decades I endured infections and rashes, not to mention the daily misery of wearing another long layer of clothing on hot, humid days in Texas. The physical discomfort was nothing compared to the guilt that drove me to wear the temple garment, regardless of weather. I’m of a generation of women who were instructed that the only “proper” way to wear the top was underneath my bra. I did exactly that until I couldn’t. The rashes I endured made it impossible to wear a bra at all. I either complied with the instruction I received in the temple or sat braless at home for days while the rashes healed. During a temple recommend interview, I nervously explained this to my former bishop, concerned I wouldn’t get the sought-after signature. The embarrassment on his face and the speed with which he moved on signaled I shouldn’t bring it up again to male leaders, so I never did again. My garment decisions became my own, which is exactly what they always should’ve been. Mine, without any threat of judgment hanging over my head.

Continue reading “Reactionary or Revelatory? Thoughts on the New Temple Garment” →